Eyes Wide Open, Jaws Clamped Shut

Hello!

So, after my last sign-off post, it was kind of hard to figure out what to say next. I am no longer working as a prop person, and I had kind of come up with a semi-dramatic exit… But, hallelujah, the fates have given me new material.

A couple of weeks ago I broke my jaw in a few places in a bike accident. Luckily, every other part of my body is fine… including my brain. I took the entire impact of the fall on my chin, it seems. Anyways, I have been living with my jaw wired shut for the past few weeks, which has given me some pretty interesting insights, to say the least.

So, lets start off with 5 Simple Indications that your Jaw is Wired Shut:

1.You suddenly need to trim your fingernails when you never had to before… Because you used to bite them.

2. You can no longer lick your lips, or fingers when you’re cooking.

3. You can’t seal an envelope without tape.

4. Everywhere you go, you carry a pair of wire cutters and a whistle. In case of emergency.

5. The dish rack in your kitchen doesn’t contain a single plate, and the only utensil is a spoon. There are 6 glasses, two bowls, two pots, and the blender.

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About meredithries

Meredith is a set designer living in Brooklyn, NY. See her work at: www.meredithries.com This is a repurposed old blog. Because continuity is important. Malaprop is a malapropism
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One Response to Eyes Wide Open, Jaws Clamped Shut

  1. Ben C says:

    Until I read number 5, I wondered exactly why you were cooking in number 2. I hope you’re not in a lot of pain.

    Also, google targeted ads crack me up:

    Ads by Google
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